She came to my apartment last nite and gave me a bookrack and Raya card. I'm so gonna miss her. So we're apart now... pada zahirnya. huhhuu. In our mind, in our soul, we know we still have each other to rely on. You know you can always count on me. Tapi sorry la malam tadi aku dah terlelap.

Hmm...parting is not fun. Anyway, seeing her smile makes every heart go fonder. Special kan, dia? That is why I always pray for her happiness. takpe. InsyaAllah nanti bebila kita jumpa lagi. hehe. ko take care tau. pepehal, ko contact aku ek? Daaa...

i hate my handphone
she made it again. since using this handphone i always got this kind of deficiency in sending people sms. dia default number yg aku active dok ber-sms. just now aku tersms akak kuih raya by calling her dear. ciss...

work
never finish. i hate my office but i love my job. that's why i'm still here.

puasa
still kicking bebeh! counting the days to celebrate raya..err..n pay day too of course!

hunger
uwaaa..mak!! nak makan lemang cicah rendang. nak jugak! nak jugak! lemang yang cukup lemak santannya, cicah plak dengan rendang daging yang cukup rempah. nyumm nyumm.. but my uncle balik rumah in-laws raya ni. sape nak bakar lemang...

raya
kad raya dah send. tinggal untuk bell je tertinggal kat rumah tadik. haih!
kuih raya? most of my orders akan sampai esok dan lusa.
baju raya? cukup la dua pasang tu. ingat nak tambah lagi tapi takde nafsu. tengok la camne.
tudung raya? yeahh..should remind myself. kena pi beli. asek rasa malas je nak pi cari. letih laa..posa. esok pi kot during lunch hour.
kasut raya? tak yah laa..pakai je yang ada. byk sgt sandle. pening kepala. shoes rack pun dah penuh. ingat after raya nak beli sneakers baru.
duit raya? hmmm..tak pi tukar kat bank lagi. gaji tak masuk lagi, nak tukar apa.
zakat? owhh..macam biasa. abah le bayarkan. huhhhuuu.
aper lagi? aper lagi? aku cam bosan je nak raya tahun ni. tak feel langsung. keja byk yang amat.

nak kata cantik tak la. nak kata hebat pun boleh jugak. walaupun design aku haram tak ori, alter sesket. tapi coding memang masak. berbelit sana sini sampai aku pun tak paham apa yang aku buat. tapi aku nak cuba siapkan dlm masa terdekat ni. tinggal create2 page n pass hidden value cam biasa. ada 5 page je lagi.

malam esok ada test bahasa. doakan aku hi score ye, korang2.

aku akan busy selagi keja tak siap. kemungkinan besar tak update blog. till then, take care ya.

thank you,
Lina

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french paper:

petang itu hujan. basah juga aku tunggu bas. yus amik kat taxi stand jusco. berbuka (supper dan sahur skali) dgn mee hong kong. sedap gak. boleh try buat nanti.

sampai kelas pukul 8.15pm. lecturer dah senyum2. aku tak pasti kenapa. tapi malam tu aku rasa senyuman dia sangat manis dan bermakna. hahahhaha..aku amik paper kat meja dia. Wahlaweyyy..susah siot. tak paham hape. aku jawab yang grammer dulu. yang bahagian translation aku nengok gitu2 jek. jawab pakai pensel lagi. i dunno but i like to use pencil very much rather than pen. hmmm..budak skolah rendahnya aku, kan?

then it was my turn buat reading test. baca jgn tak baca. baca sambil geleng2 kepala. ntah hape aku merapu. macam french sesat je. lalalalla...

pastu lecturer cakap, "good. everybody can read well". dalam hati, "yeah, u're rite. setakat baca. hape la sgt. putar2kan je lidah.hahhaa" bila dia tanya wut do u understand from the article. hahhaa..aku senyum balik kat dia. "i just know there's an apple, a beg, gloves, blabla"..hahhaha. aku taktau la conversation kat article tu kat mana happen. tgk gambar kat restoran.

"excuse me. i'm so sorry". translate to french. susah susah aku sms dua orang. teddy n arif. teddy punya jawapan valid rupanya. aku dah cek kat net. si arif desole dia je betul. bonjour2 ntahapehape tu mmg takleh pakai.

bahagian pemahaman baca 10 kali pun tak paham2. masa start peksa, aku dok lane belakang sekali. tengok student lain buka buku. tanya budak depan aku, open book test ke? dia cakap ntah. buka je.

dah buka buku pun..bukan ada article yag sama. lelast aku pi duduk satu row ngan budak depan aku. "eh nak tgk jawapan no blabla". hhahaha..pastu aku tanya, "camne u jawab soalan ni? mana dapat jawapan?" she said ala..tengok je memana ada perkataan tu, salin je dari article.

mujur aku tak tiru dia semua2. sebab ada soalan tu instinct aku kata jawapannya sepatutnya something2 la kan. lepas hantar paper, aku tanya lecturer, ye betulla instinct aku tu. huhhhuu. cuma jawapan je tak tau betul salah. ye lah, tau 2,3 perkataan je. bantai la apa lagi.

result pas raya baru kuar. haihh... tak tau la score aku bape. harap2 lulus dgn cemerlang.

pagi ni sampai ofis, kecoh berita datin endon dah meninggal. innalillah...

The other day as I got a flu fever, I went to see a doctor to get a day MC. It took me by surprise when the doctor told me she can't hear my left lung using her stethoscope. For the worst case scenario, I might had TB or cancer (told you I dont like smoke!!).

She wasn't entirely sure about that so she asked me to pay another visit after two weeks. I need to do medical check-up and an X-Ray. She said not to worry. InsyaAllah, everything's gonna be OK. I smiled to reassure myself that everything will definetely be fine. She gave me some tea, calcium n vitamin c pills.

Fast forward. So today is the day. I woke up bluntly in the morning then suddenly reminded by my handphone (reminders) about the doctor's appointment. Deep in my heart, I recited a little prayer. Nervous nervous.

I went to the office first. I called the guy from the electric shop asking about my washing machine. He said my machine has been repaired n ready to be send to my house by tomorrow. *face glows* yay! We discussed about what time he'll probably come by blabla..then I went out to clinic.

I smiled at her when I entered her room. "Lawa hari ni. Nak pergi mana?" So friendly, "Dari ofis. tak pergi memana. Pergi keja je." To be frank, yeah I did check my attire and make up. I wanna look nice n healthy. I always come to the clinic when I had health problem. Today I'm so fine and I want to make a good impression.

She started by checking my blood pressure. "hmm..good. I'm impressed". hehehe. petanda yang baik. Usually my blood pressure is quite low. Then she put her stethoscope over some part of my body. "ok jek. eh, awak ok la" blabla bla. "tak payah x-ray lah camni. Awak sihat." Really? Alhamdulillah....syukur.

She explained that I might effected by some viruses (wish I can pick up the names) at my _____ system (again I can't recall). The teas that she gave me had make my body strong to fight against the viruses. I told her I didn't finish the tea and again..her cliche "anak orang ni...isk! habiskan blabla" Hahahaha.

She asked about my work. Do I get stressed out as before. No, the truth is my life is getting so happier these days. Only God knows how. Why should I waste my time on thinking of something that I don't like. I try not to look at it as long it doesn't hurt me.

Now I'm back in the office and still feel grateful that I still have my health cared. To friends and family, thanks for all your support. and to you too.. mucho graciasss!!! merci beaucoup.

boleh pi berbuka puasa beramai2 dgn senang hati. and I might make pudding this weekend.

++
yang baik berterusan

kerja gila. bukan..bukan lagu amy search.just this JS n PHP problem. i'm so wanting to get over javascript+php thingy. dah dekat sebulan aku buat. arghhh..tadi dalam aku nak curi2 tido2 ayam, phone berdering. ingatkan orang salah nombor, my fren rupanya. borak4 menjadikan aku ilang ngantuk. yeaaa tak ngantuk2 lagi.

tapi sedih juga dia mengadu dia berbuka sorang. dah ngadu2 tu then dia cakap her other half tak pernah ajak dia berbuka sama. aku pun cakap, aku pun. hahaha. "tapi ko tak berbuka sorang2". errr...ok. hehe. (posa pun tak lagi :P)

kawan lagi sorang ajak kami berbuka sesama. then guess what, a fren-then-become-enemy-now-saying-she's-a-fren pun nak join. hmm..last time we met dia tarik muka gila2 walaupun masa tu dia dtg rumah aku, skang mention nak berbuka satu table..dan pi satu keta plak nanti. after 4 years,it has been a while kan?

anyway, bulan penuh rahmat dan berkat ni, aku akan sambung usaha cuba utk lupakan semua tu n start a new chapter. cuma jangan manis di bibir saje. nanti dah jumpa tarik2 muka lagi. kalau ye, memang last la aku nak jumpa.

ya Allah..permudahkanlah hati kami memberi kemaafan. jauhkanlah ammarah. aminnn..

maaf le lama sangat tak apdet.sebenarnya dah apdet. tapi atas sebab2 tertentu, 'we', ye saya dan associates (ecewah) menarik balik entry. hahahha.

ok. meh citer benda lain. i always wonder why am i selalu kena bite by mosquitoes tapi orang lain cam lekk lekk cool je. this article explains why. juga menceritakan facts about mosquitoes yang selama ni mungkin kita tak kesah. they can survive on Himalaya too! wahhh..tera giler. tak payah shopping sweater. huhhhuuu. kat tempat panas pun dia bleh idup. pastu kan..dia cam boleh detect kehadiran kita dari jarak 50km lagi. wahhh..hebat giler. kalau buat movie pasal nyamuk pun mesti best kan? buat ala2 alien yang menjelma jadi nyamuk sedut darah manusia. pastu buat seram2 sket. zoom in kat mulut dia kot2 nyamuk ada siung ke kan. pehtu buat cam blood maniac gitu, mata merah. pastu kasi tajuk blood sucker. mesti tak lulus LPF. padahal citer nyamuk je. hahaha.

hmm...kecik2 nyamuk ni, boleh jadi penyebab ajal jugak. bahaya tuh.

actually malam tu dah dapat rasa macam tak 'lulus' je nak puasa esok. tapi ikut2 falak (eceh, falak tue)hahaa. ok la ikut2 ilmu hisab boleh kot 2,3 hari lagi posa. siap buat terawih sendiri ni. pasai segan nak pi masjid sorang2. budak rumah mostly takde. ada yg balik, ada yang kena keja. so malam tu dengan semangatnya baca niat puasa utk sebulan dgn 2 housemates aku. dok bersms wish selamat berpuasa dengan beberapa orang.

pagi, 4.30 dah bangun sahur. ala..bukan makan ape pun. buat susu and oatmeal, makan roti.borak2 ngan housemates then tido balik. pagi tu liat gila nak bangun subuh. pasal kena bangun 2,3 kali. seb baik cuti.

bila bangun tido pukul 11.25 pagi, tengok2 haram berpuasa..aiseyyy... malas nak cakap banyak. bangun2 je terus pi dapur amik roti letak kaya dan berbuka. hahahaa. dah la aritu ujan memanjang. cuaca mendung hingga ke petang.

pukul 2 camtu kuar ngan yus jalan2 cari baju dia. ada yang cantik, takde saiz plak. banyak kedai tutup pasal arini kan johor cuti umum, awal ramadhan. butik2 lain plak sibuk pasal kena buka booth lain kat podium. cam karnival raya la camtu.

beli nasik kat PAsar RAMadhan (PARAM) KOMTAR. amik sotong, amik udang, amik sayur kangkung (ye,amik amik. buat macam makan kat umah sendiri. layan diri kan namanya) lepas tu..haaaa...amik ko! kena rm7.60 :)) first time in my entire life beli nasi bungkus kat stall kena harga lebih dari rm5. fuhhh..aku kah yang mentekedarah atau makcik tu yang lapar darah aku? hahhaa. takpe la. bulan posa. biasalah tu. takpe makcik. amik la makcik,amik. mujur saya baru je dapat gaji :)

arini keja, still orang dok usik mengusik pasal makanan. contoh "jomm, pi minum", "ok, jumpa sat gi kat marrybrown", "haa..ye lah. lunch nanti kat sundanese. aku belanja".

my landlady semalam call, alhamdulillah dah sampai tanah kelantan, mencari ketenangan dalam bulan ramadhan kat rumah pondok apentah, aku pun kurang arif. semua ada aktiviti memasing. aku..cam biasa punya plan. yang paling aku suka tentulah shopping raya. tapii...mungkin juga tak. pasal aku dah beli baju raya awal2 lagi. skang duit gaji kali ni nak beli camera, untuk hari raya dan majlis di perak nanti. i'll be taking a bus ride dari jb-kk, first time ni nak naik bas untuk perjalanan yang jauh melebihi 5 jam. huhhuu.. teruja jugak! dok pikir apa ek nak buat dalam bas nanti? kat ne ek bas berenti rehat? air-con dia sejuk sgt ke nanti? lenguh ke tak kepala aku nanti..hmm..kena bawak bantal kecik ke? bape besar beg aku kena bawak nanti? hahhaha.

to all, happy ramadhan al-mubarak. (sebut je mubarak mesti aku teringat murtabak. tatau asal. isk! nak berbuka ngan murtabak la nanti)

malam tadi kan..ada orang cakap suara aku tak best sebab hidung blocked. haih! sedih betul. i can do nothing. takde hingus yang mengalir, atau batuk2 yang mengeluarkan kahak. it just..blocked. sometimes benda2 itu akan kuar bila dia nak kuar. so how hard i try to blow my nose pun, i only succeed in making my head in pain. skang ni pendengaran pun dah agak2 affected gak. rasa cam nak pi jumpa doktor arini. tapi takpe...relax..lagi seminggu.

last nite considered as my last class. teacher cam tak puas hati je ngan aku. i told her i'm working in town so i wont be able to attend class on weekdays. "what time it would be ok for u to come?" aku cakap "nevermind carry on. i dowan to bother other students' schedule". the truth is yup, mmg aku tanak org lain susah2 adjust schedule memasing utk aku. tapi nampak cam aku tanak attend class dan amik peksa. aduhhh...teacher o teacher. saya sangat suka class teacher sebab even saya blur2 pun orang tak gelakkan saya (ye, saya budak yang paling lewat sampai kelas.hehe). students ok, senyap tapi tak pasif. ada je questions yang best. sporting dan light-hearted. we had fun 'membelit-belitkan' lidah masing2 try to read french.

you are a nice teacher. eventho i always make u digress like "how do pigs exist?" or "how arabs celebrate ramadhan?" u always there to layan my curiosity. hahahhaa. walaupun u dok cakap "this is not in the syllabus" "ala..teacher. can la. we want to know".

i wanna go to our break fast ceremony on 21st. tapii..siangnya itulah hari exam yang bakal aku ponteng. cemana ek? aku cam nak jugak wish selamat beraya kat cikgu tu..hmmmm. got to give her something as a gift.

malam tadi kan..masa tido umah kawan aku tu. her significant other asek call je. hehe. at one part i do feel different. bukan jealous. rasa lain. pagi tadi, masa aku salam n hug her, aku cakap, "selamat bertunang". lepas ni susah nak jumpa dia pasal dia nak balik perak dah.

sedih plak memula. tapi tengahari tadi bila aku minta tolong dia callkan service centre, dia suggestkan bf dia call kan. masa tu aku terfikir sesuatu...

i dont think it is the end of everything. but i take it as a new beginning. start to accept her n her significant other as an item. i dont lose anything. and u know what, i feel great about it.

and no, i dont use her bf favour. i'll call the service centre myself :)

ada satu benda yang aku dok ingat sangat dan nak aku quotekan. ni yus yang story. petikan adengan romantik di gelang patah:- "meh i suap. ammm..ammm" hahahhahahah!

eventually, after all things fall to places, life is still beautiful..kan?

and to those who read this, yup.. to you.
as Allah waters His creation, may He always sprinkles His blessings over you on this coming Ramadhan. Selamat berpuasa.

still mourning. fav blankie terkena bleach. salah sendiri.

"kakak mana?"
"dalam bilik"
"kakak merajuk, selimut dia kena bleach...."

pakai la peluntur cap XXX. kotoran tak hilang. warna luntur