it's been awhile since my last post here. to tell the truth it's not that I'm so tied up with the off line life. just feel like to breath a fresh air. end up..i know i can't run away from reality.

I've been flying like a bird not to reach the ground and feel its dust. so afraid to turn back to see the devastation that happened that i thought not the way that i wanted it to be.

it's not I'm complaining about my life now but what I'm trying to say is I'm some kind of jealous when i saw others' picture of life when i thought they might happier in their life before they got to know me.

why we always see the flaw in others but not in ourselves? i always feel that i'm not good enough, smart enough or pretty enough in so many ways.that's what is written to my zodiac. I'm cancerian.

Life is still goes on. i'm not excited to see tomorrow. not that i don't want to. talking from experience, potential to have a good day happens everyday. it's up to us to smile or to frown.

i want to be the best. at least appear as one. if not for myself, at least for the loved ones. as for the record, i will keep smiling.